Janay Rice defends husband, says she feels like 'I had a horrible nightmare' in Instagram post




If you’re “shaking your head” or otherwise looking down on her for this — DON’T. 

You do not understand.

Look at his face: confident but pissed.

Look at hers: tight, closed, resigned.  (or put another way: scared).

Many domestic violence victims suffer MORE violence at the hands of their abusers when the abuser has been caught out and penalized for harming his victim.

That’s why so many victims beg the authorities to not punish their abusers. Because whatever the abuser gets, he’ll take out on his spouse/victim.

And before you ask “why doesn’t she just leave”?  He is the one with the NFL paycheck and the resources it grants him.  Unless she has been super clever and super sneaky, she probably has no way to hide the resources to setup a getaway fund and a safe place to go that he can’t easily find her and drag her back for more of the same for daring to try to escape him.

Look it up on google about how hard it is for domestic violence spouses to leave before you cast blame on Janay.

I say this to you as the daughter of a mother who was abused, and didn’t leave until my sister caught my father brandishing AN AXE at her.  And that is a crime called menacing: a misdemeanor.  I say this to you as the daughter of a mother who was abused and who was denied a restraining order because the judge said “it must not be that bad or you would’ve asked for one sooner”.   I say this to you as the daughter of a mother who was too scared to call the police when my father ignored said order and drove by the house every day just to “check” on her (read: remind her he was watching and knew where to find her). 

That you’ve never had the experience doesn’t mean the experiences described are not valid. Abandon that way of thinking.  It is ego and just to assuage your own feelings and give you a way of feeling superior rather than sympathetic. 

(via fuckyeahdiomedes)

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